Sunday 22nd April 2012 - leaving Tonsai - Krabi, to go to Bangkok. Heading towards Sri Lanka

So as mentioned in my previous posts, I have been feeling that the backpacking thing is not really what I am looking for right now. It has been great but when I keep getting a heavy heart and feeling down I know that seeing the rest of beautiful Asia will have to be put on hold until I have done my Buddhist meditation retreat. So today I made the decision that I would leave Tonsai and head to Sri Lanka.  I got up, started packing my stuff but realised that i needed to pick up the waterproof jacket that Maria borrowed me the day before from Bamboos. I walked there and he was sitting miserably on the sofa with "his last cigarette" in his hand. I sensed immediately he wasn't happy to see me given that I had walked out the night before while he was out searching for his weed. He asked me where I went and I said I was bored of waiting so left. I reached for Maria's jacket and he asked me where I was going. I said I was leaving Tonsai. He asked if I was going to Ao Nang. I said yes. He asked if he could come with me. I said no, I'm leaving Thailand so heading to the bus station. His whole head just dropped and he went silent. He then just said without looking at me "you take care of yourself". I said thanks and walked out. I didnt understand why it needed to be like this given that we had spent some really nice times together but I think he was hoping that I was some get-out-of-jail-free card and was possibly disappointed at the realisation that I wasn't. As much as I would loved to have helped him and given him cash to get his life together, the fact of the matter is that he will probably waste half of whatever I give him on weed! Also, despite him being the sweetest guy, what guarantee did I have that he would sort himself out. And also, what am I?! A millionaire?! I'm living on a bank loan!!! I toyed with all these different thoughts about why I should and why I shouldn't give him money - and even had to keep reminding myself of what my dad and Ang had said during our skype call the day before when i told them i wanted to help him.  After jumping from one thought to another and despite his cold exit interview with me, i decided I would leave him some cash. I walked back to his place but he wasn't there so I went to the shop and bought a postcard, wrote him a note and left 500baht inside his laptop. 500baht could buy him a decent amount of food for him and the dogs (if he spent it wisely) for the next week or it could stupidily buy him weed for the next 3days. Deep down I know what the money would be spent on but at the end of the day it's only £10 to me and is no major loss.  I had to wait for the boat back to Ao Nang for maybe 2hours until there were 8people to lessen the cost. At the boat shelter i got speaking to these two girls who were travelling together for a year from Seattle. They were really cool and we all just talked about our trips so far - they were headed to do their visa run so they could extend their stay in Thailand. Once we finally got enough people we headed to Ao Nang. Once there the girls and I travelled together to Krabi bus station where they were heading to Satun to catch the boat to Langkawi, and I was heading to Bangkok hoping to get a flight to Sri Lanka.  Once we got to the bus terminal, backpack in tow, I bent down to pick something up and the girls and I were cracking up when my backpack toppled me over onto my backside. Thinking about it now I spent like 4hours with them and didn't even get their names. Anyway, one of them helped me up and we said goodbye as they were shooed onto "the last bus". Despite arriving at the bus station at 14.30 I had to wait until 19:00 for my bus as all the other 6 buses in between were full. There had been this ridiculously rude women at the bus terminal while I was trying to buy my bus ticket. She opened her glass window and looked right passed me and over to the left of where I was standing and asked where are you going - I looked around confused behind me to see if she was talking to someone else because this lady wasnt looking anywhere near me. I stood silently then she cut her eye and then pointed them in my direction briefly, started repeating the question and looked back to the same direction she had been looking before. I said Bangkok - she looked at me with such an evil and disgusted look, said "all full" while holding up a sign saying "all full", looked away while i burned my eyes into her hopin she would look at me again so i could give her a dirty look, and the turned her back on me while sliding the glass window shut. Wow! Older Thai women really don't like me. The second place I went to buy my ticket weren't much better. I walked up to the counter and stood there not saying anything as the lady was busy doing something. I figured she would serve me once she was finished doing what she was doing. Then another women came along, a Thai woman, and the lady at the counter looked straight passed me and started serving the other lady. At this moment I was quite happy to be leaving thailand!  About half an hour before the bus was due to come I got speaking to a lady - again didnt ask her name. She was about 45, from Berkshire and had been travelling for a year after losing her job. She had been everywhere including New Zealand and Australia. Everyone had allocated seats on the bus but she wanted for us to sit together so, as she put it, she didn't have to sit next to some foreigner. We sat together but we moved like naughty little school girls and held up the bus leaving. Oops! The bus journey was 10hours but was surprisingly comfortable so it was ok. We arrived into Bangkok bus terminal at 5.45am.